Victorian Vampire

"drak jr. was the first cartoon character i ever found sexy. i truly think that men are sexier with clothes on than without - and the more the better. not that i'm interested in finding lorne sexy, but when he was suffering from decision-making problems again this year, i talked him into the mccall pattern company's victorian vampire costume. i went to a great deal of trouble to match gorgeous brocades and taffetas, and had a vision in my head of exactly how his hair and makeup should be, based on drak jr. well, lorne's face isn't exactly gaunt and decent men's wigs are scarce, but i did the best i could. when i was done, roderick cracked up laughing and said, 'so tell me, lorne...have you always wanted to be a homosexual vampire?' if i could adjust this costume, i'd get a new wig and a silver-tipped walking stick."